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Now, you may ask yourself, what's the connection between arousal and the g spot? Well, the g spot is best found and stimulated when you are completely turned on. If you try to stimulate it before it can be hard to find, and stimulation can be uncomfortable or even painful. The best time to explore the g spot is when your partner is so hot she’s begging you to be inside her.
To help you get to that place quickly and easily, we’re focusing this article on getting you both highly aroused - quickly and easily. Speaking of arousal, did you know the most important part of the body for arousal is ... the mind? Yes, its not the clitoris, the penis, or any erogenous zone. Its the mind. About 75% of arousal comes from the mind (especially for women).
So, guys, I’ve created a sample evening to use with your partner, and worked in many small techniques to build arousal. I suggest you read this over, completely, and then plan an evening with your partner this week and follow the steps:
1) when you wake up, tell your partner that you love her, and then share two or three things you enjoy about being with her. When you are sharing this, focus on speaking from your root ... you may notice often your energy is in your head, or your throat. Use your breathe, and your awareness to speak from your sex. Speak with heart, and with emotion. be real!
2) tell your partner that you’ve planned a super sexy night for her, and that you have a surprise for her as well. (DO NOT TELL HER WHAT IT IS!) This will let your partner know that tonight is not a normal night. It will also make her think about it all day. This is what you want.
3) don’t spend much time with your partner that day. be out, be busy. its important to have physical seperation, to build a bit of distance.
4) however, make a point to call her and say that you love her and are looking forward to going out later that night. by now, she’ll likely be telling her friends how strange you’re acting! : )
When you are out that night, do whatever you would normally do: cook-in, go out to a nice restaurant, have wine, cocktails, etc.
5) However, when you first greet her, make a point to hug/kiss her with love and intensity. Also, create an excuse to whisper something (anything) in her ear, and let your breath linger on her neck.
6) Then, throughout the evening, create excuses to massage her shoulders, touch her arm or leg, be close to her, etc.
Now, you can do all these small techniques things at any time, on any day. (In fact, I recommend you do them all the time!). I’m just framing them over an evening date to make them easier to teach you.
Its likely by now that she’ll ask you about your surprise ... don’t tell her what it is. Keep the suspense and mystery. Feel free to be playful – but don’t tell her.
Now, its after dinner, you’re coming back home. Tell her that the first part of the surprise is that you’ve planned a special evening once you get back. Say, I’m going to give you a cocktail (or a glass of wine, etc.) when we get home and go upstairs and prepare.
This makes her even more curious, and lets her know you’re taking care of everything. Women generally find this super sexy.
Go to your bedroom, and set things up. You’re going to be doing some massage and sexual exercises with your partner. Prepare for that, and then invite your partner into the space.
Now, in this part of the evening, you’re going to experiment with some simple exercises that build attraction, arousal and intimacy. Again, you can use these techniques any time, together or separate. I’ve just put them into an evening activity as a way to teach them (it also makes for a great night of fun!)
1) tell your partner that you’ve designed an evening to help create intimacy and arousal. that neither of you will be orgasming tonight – that’s its about loving each other, and getting hot and sexy – without the pressure of orgasm. (you heard me – don’t have an orgasm ... take away the predicable path ... you’ll get much more hot for each other, and its good practice. trust me!
2) take a few minutes to share a bit about what you appreciate and admire about each other. we often don’t do this with our partners. share 2 or 3 things each.
3) now, take a few minutes, to look into your partners left eye. sit quietly, be present with each other, feel your partner. if you mind wanders bring it back. this is a small exercise to build presence and intimacy. it will likely feel quite weird in the beginning. do it anyway!
4) if it seems appropriate share a bit about how that ways, and try it again
5) now, take 5 minutes to kiss each other. pretend you’ve just met. explore each other. kiss as if that’s all you are going to do tonight, not as an excuse to get to have sex. explore her lips, tongue, neck, ears, chin, throat, etc.
6) you will likely get bored and want to move on. don’t! i’ve done workshops where you have to kiss 1,000 times differently. be creative. push through the normal patterns. we are retraining how you approach sex. slowing you down. re- awakening your senses. building creative muscle.
7) after this, lay your partner down, and put a blindfold on her. (if you don’t have one, you can use a scarf, or something else)
8) take 10 or 15 minutes to touch your partners body. NOT HER CLITORUS OR VAGINA. enjoy yourself. if you are having fun, you will be much more present, and amazingly enough, it will feel much better to her. experiment with different kinds of touch: hard, fast, slow, soft, circular, fingernails, pads of fingers, feather, silk, tongue, lips, cold breathe, hot breathe, something warm, something cold, etc. track your partner’s response. what you are doing should be turning her on. if its not, try something different, and check in with her
9) never feel bad about requesting, giving or receiving feedback. you can’t know everything, so don’t expect it of yourself.
10) now, at this point in the evening, you can start to innovate. you can either have you partner lay you down and do the same thing to you. you can start to involve her yoni and clitoris. you can branch into massage, oral sex, sex, etc. be creative.
Remember, do not have an orgasm tonight. Use the evening to enjoy each other. Revel in each other’s taste, smell’s, and passion. Love and be loved. Find the freedom that comes from not trying to get somewhere.
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A dietary supplement is any product that is intended to supplement the diet and that contains at least one of these ingredients: vitamins, minerals, herbs or other botanicals, amino acids, and substances such as enzymes, organ tissues, glandulars, metabolites, or a combination of these ingredients. If you choose to take a dietary supplement, read the supplement label carefully. The label will show how much of a specific vitamin, mineral, botanical, or other is in each dietary supplement. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and its Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition developed regulations for manufacturers in order to help consumers make informed choices when choosing dietary supplements. Manufacturers are responsible for ensuring that their supplements’ facts label and ingredient list are accurate, that the dietary ingredients are safe, and that the content matches the amount declared on the label.
Here is the information that must be on a dietary supplement label: A descriptive name of the product stating that it is a supplement. The name and address of the manufacturer, packer, or distributor. A list of each ingredient contained in the product, listed in the order of predominance by common name or proprietary blend. Ingredients not listed on the facts panel must appear in the other ingredient statement beneath the panel. The net contents of the product. The manufacturer’s suggested serving size. There are no rules that limit a serving size or the amount of a nutrient in any form of dietary supplements. Information on nutrients when they are present in significant levels, such as vitamins A and C, calcium, iron, and sodium, and the percentage Daily Value (% DV) where a reference has been established—this is similar to the nutrients listed in the Nutrition Facts panel on food labels. The Daily Value is essentially the same as the DRI (RDA or AI). All other dietary ingredients present in the product, including botanicals and amino acids—those for which no Daily Value has been established.
Multiple and Single Nutrient Supplementation
When you choose a general multivitamin and multi-mineral supplement, consider those that offer the full nutrient spectrum, the full range of B-complex vitamins, and antioxidants like beta-carotene and vitamins C and E. A good rule of thumb is to look for daily value percentage ranges from 50 to 150 percent. If a multivitamin has some but not enough of the other vitamins, you can take additional doses of those particular single supplements. Typically, a multivitamin cannot hold enough calcium. In addition to this basic multivitamin and mineral supplement, you may want to take single supplements to boost your health for specific conditions. To be sure that you will not be taking excessive amounts over what is already in the basic supplement, subtract the amount in the basic supplement from the larger amount listed for that single supplement. The difference is the amount of the single supplement you need to add. For example, if your basic supplement provides 200 milligrams (mg) of calcium, you would only take 800 mg of single supplement calcium to receive 1,000 mg of calcium daily.
Botanicals Common in High-Potency Supplements
Common herbal supplements are sometimes found in the formulation of high-potency or a health-benefit specific multivitamin and mineral supplement. Some herbs are used as specifics and are taken for brief periods or only when symptoms are present. Some herbs are used as tonics and are taken long term, sometimes with short breaks in between. For more information on using herbs and their health benefits, read about them from a reliable source and then discuss them with your health practitioner. Become informed!
Here are a few common herbs and their unique properties that you may find in your supplements:
Ginkgo Biloba (Ginkgo Biloba) is an antioxidant and improves circulation and memory. It may interact with monoamine oxidase (MAO) inhibitors and blood-thinners and may cause gastrointestinal upset and headaches. Ginseng (Panax ginseng, P. quinquefolius) helps increase energy, and is used as a tonic for fatigue and athletic performance. It may worsen the side effects of stimulants, such as caffeine. Some people experience over-stimulation or stomach upset when taking this herb. Avoid this herb if you have high blood pressure, heart palpitations, insomnia, asthma, or a high fever. Siberian Ginseng or Eleuthero (Eleuthero senticosus) helps increase energy and is used as a tonic for fatigue and stress. Its use may increase the effectiveness and side effects of some antibiotics. Saw Palmetto (Sernoa repens) is effective in the treatment of prostate enlargement or benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH). Some people experience stomach upset when taking this herb. Echinacea (Echinacea augustifolia, E. pallida, E. Purpurea) is known for its ability to stimulate the body’s defenses against minor vial and bacterial infections such as colds and the flu. Persons allergic to the pollen of other members of the aster family, such as ragweed, may also be allergic to echinacea. Its use may counteract immune-suppressive drugs. Green Tea Extract (Camellia Sinensis plant extract) has antioxidant properties, particularly the phytochemical epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG) and is used as a tonic. Milk Thistle (Silybum marianum) is considered a liver protector and healer and is used as a liver tonic. Black Cohosh (Cimicifuga racemosa) has been shown to be effective for premenstrual and menopausal symptoms, such as hot flashes. It may cause stomach upset. Pregnant and nursing women should avoid using this herb.
Copyright 2006. Mary El-Baz. All rights reserved.
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Let me share with you two of the most common myths about the female orgasm
Myth 1: Women can reach orgasm more easily if her partner has a large penis.
Men who have worried for eons about the size of their penis can relax. The truth is that size really doesn't matter all that much. Since only the first two inches of a woman's vagina are sensitive to stimulation, anything over that amount is kind of useful during intercourse, at least from the woman's physical perspective. In fact, when men are overly concerned with the size of their penis and whether it's sufficient, their minds aren't focused on pleasuring their partner and that is no way to experience female orgasm. A survey done by the Kinsey Institute found that the average size of an erect penis measured from the tip to where it connects with the rest of the body is 6.16 inches (15.65 centimeters) in length. The girth of an erect penis is 4.84 inches (12.29 centimeters) on average. Both of these statistics are come as a surprise to men and to women who have been convinced by our culture (and possibly pornographic movies and magazines) that the average size of an erect penis is eight or nine inches. That same Kinsey study actually found that less than 2% of men have penises which meet that requirement.
Remember whether a man's penis size is below, above, or just average, he still has the ability to help his partner reach orgasm and that is far more worthy of praise than a few extra inches of penis.
Myth 2: If a woman does not have an orgasm, she did not enjoy the sex.
Most women have had the experience of being asked by their partner during sex if they are going to "get off." This myth is the reason for that question. The majority of men believe that sex without an orgasm is not pleasurable for a woman, but that's not true. First of all, even though orgasms are a wonderful part of the sexual experience, there is more involved than that. For couples, sex is generally a physical expression of love and closeness. Many women report enjoying this part of the experience immensely even when it is not followed by an orgasm. Second, just because there's no climax that doesn't mean the rest of the experience didn't feel good. An orgasm is an intense pleasurable feeling but it is not the sole source of sexual pleasure for a woman. Just as men enjoy the actual act of intercourse, so do women. Third, when men ask about whether or not a woman is going to climax, he is putting pressure on her to deliver and this generally leads to faking orgasms which actually detracts from her experience and could detract from his as well if he discovers the truth.
Furthermore, when a partner is truly in tune with a woman's body, they don't have to ask that question: the signs of a building orgasm are unmistakable and cannot be faked. We'll talk about these signs later in the book.
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Penis size and "maleness" seem to be tightly woven together.
It seems our mentality and society itself equates the size of the male penis with stature, importance, pride and accomplishment. Since that's the case, it's really no wonder many men have walked down that path.
Most of you have seen the movie "Austin Powers" where he was stopped in the airport luggage check point. The worker discovered a swedish penis pump in his baggage. Of course, our man of intrigue flatly denied any wrongdoing and ownership. In fact, he acted surprised it was even there to begin with implying "I don't need that...my penis is already large!"
Let's look at that above scenario and see how it relates to men today.
Penis Pumps
Most of you have seen the penis pumps advertised in magazines. Of course, they always have the endorsement of some adult movie movie star with claims of achieving huge gains as long as you use it. The trouble with penis pumps is their promise...it's as hollow as the vacuum tube the pump itself uses. Penis pumps were not designed to increase size...it was designed to trap blood inside the penis caverns allowing the user to clamp off the base of the penis in order to have sex.
The only men who need to use a pump, are men who have severe diabetes with resulting erectile dysfunction. These men need to use a pump simply because their internal anatomy has been decimated by the ravages of the disease which destroys their penile arteries and blood flow.
Austin Powers Reaction
Remember he denied it was his? Men are no different and their response to penis enlargement is almost exactly the same as Mr. Powers.
Men want to increase their size because they believe their size could be bigger and they would feel better about themselves. That's why natural male enhancement websites are visited by thousands of men every day. All of whom are looking for some "secret" to improving their size.
Don't be fooled by the male persona and bravado...Men want to have a larger penis for a variety of reasons and like Austin at the airport, they will deny they had anything to do with it.
Does that make them bad or liars? Not in the least.
Men simply want privacy for personal issues, but in public especially to members of the opposite sex, men will deny they need any help or have any kind of problem needing help.
That's why doctor's offices around the world are filled with women...not men.
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On April 14th of 1945, I was five years old. I came in from playing and was met by my mother who was sobbing. "Your other mother is dead," she said. I felt very sad, but for my adoptive mother. I never knew who my birth-mother was and never even considered the fact that I had another mother somewhere. I later found out that all the records associated with my adoption were supposed to have been sealed. So how could Mom have known that?
I had a little bit of information about my birth. One such fact was that I suffered from hypopladia, "a condition I inherited from my father." It turns out that means that the opening of my penis was at the bottom rather than at the end. Of all the things to inherit! I also knew that I was born at General Hospital in Minneapolis, and that Mom and Dad were listed as the parents.
That was all I knew for more than forty years. Mom died in 1985 and Dad in 1987. I was named executor of his estate. When I went through the papers I found a baptismal record for Richard Allen Hemmingsen, born on my birthday! Three names were listed as witnesses. After fighting with myself for a week I looked one name up in the phone book and called. A woman answered and I asked if Lloyd was there. The woman said he wasn't, but she would have him call me. I never heard from him and in the meantime, my ardor to find my birth family had subsided.
Evie's father died a day after my mother on Christmas Day in 1985. When her mother died in 1987 she decided that she wanted to find out about her birth mother. She didn't have any feelings of betrayal. Nor did I. The laws that sealed the records in the early 1940s had been changed, and it was now possible to contact birth relatives, if both parties agreed to the contact. She wrote a long letter explaining all the things that had happened to her in her life and her views about politics and religion. To her delight, she got a response! Her mother was now living in Michigan and wanted to meet her. They did at the Minneapolis airport. An aunt was with her. In a long conversation, Evie learned that she had two half-sisters, a half-brother, and several aunts and uncles who were all very anxious to meet her. One aunt looked exactly like her. Her siblings were thrilled, and so was the man her birth-mother had married. He was a retired minister and had known about Evie for as long as they were married. We have had a warm relationship with the whole family for nearly twenty years. Unfortunately it has been shrinking because of deaths, but Evie still meets with a favorite aunt at least once a month. Her experiences finding her birth-family became a feature article in the Minneapolis Sunday paper.
My path was a bit different. After Evie connected with her family, I again decided to try to find mine. Lloyd was still unavailable, but there were two other names on the baptismal certificate. I found one of the names in the Minnneapolis phone book. When I called him, he said, "You must be one of Hilma's twins."
I told him that I was born in 1940. No, my uncle said. "The twins were born in 1944."
You can imagine how excited I was to hear that! He said that she had died of internal bleeding one day after giving birth to twin boys. Ironically, my half-sibs were born on the same day as my adoptive sister, but a year later. I found out where Hilma was living when the twins were born and immediately placed a personals ad in the local newspaper asking whether anyone had information about the whereabouts of twin boys born in April of 1944.
No one responded.
In the meantime my new uncle arranged for me to meet with the rest of the family. It was huge; Hilma had had 10 siblings. An aunt threw a potluck lunch and the thirty some relatives all showed up. One was the other signer of the baptismal certificate. I asked her about my twin brothers. "They aren't brothers," she said. "They were a boy and a girl. Everyone called them Jack and Jill."
From that point, everything came together. We were able to locate the adoption agency and they located the adoptive mother. She said that both children were alive and well. Later that night I got a call from my brother, and a few days later, my sister. Bro looks like me, but a bit heavier. We met my sister in Montana and visited Yellowstone Park together. We were both delighted. I have kept in contact with my Minnesota family. I have yet to visit my brother but I get regular letters from my sister.
One of my aunts gave me a photo album of my mother. One, showing her on a bicycle with a friend, looked so much like me that we showed it to one of Evie's buddies. "That's John in a dress," Evie said, smiling. "Oh," said our friend. "Who's that with him?"
My last words are advice for others who may be in our situation. Things don't always work out as well as they did for Evie and me, but if they do, it's like stepping into a different world, the alternative universe you always wondered about.
