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Anyone can become enraged once in a while. But if you feel rage boiling within almost constantly, or rage erupts from you frequently, you may have an organic illness.
On the other hand, you might have suffered some terrible injustice as a child.
One major, but largely ignored, category of such abuse is that of boys emotionally, physically, or sexually damaged by women.
This abuse is not only widespread but may be at the root of much subsequent abuse of women by men.
A little boy abused by a woman suffers in similar ways to a little girl abused by a man.
In recent times it has become acceptable for women to speak out about the abuse they suffered as children; most men feel no such permission is given to them about the abuse they suffered as little boys at the hands of women. These men are ashamed, and enraged.
They are enraged because society accepts that men can be angry but there is less acceptance for the male victims' feelings of hurt, fear, inadequacy, guilt, embarrassment, and especially weakness and vulnerability.
A male victim smothers these emotions with anger. In this way, he preserves his masculine image. But the cost is enormous.
A man unaware of the deep sources of his anger will, at the least, have troubled relationships with women; at the worst, he may rape and mutilate.
A male victim of childhood sexual abuse by women displays the following behavior as an adult:
>> Distrust of women.
>> Fear of intimacy.
>> No separate identity.
>> Readily feels guilt.
>> Hard time to accept compliments.
>> Holds back emotions.
>> Protects abuser(s).
>> Sexual difficulties.
>> Seeks abuser's approval.
>> Constantly apologises.
>> Fearful.
>> Eager to care for others.
>> Joyless. (Adapted from Blanchard, 1987*)
The lousy feelings often erupt as rage. Ronald sought professional help to change his vicious behavior toward his wife, Helen.
Ronald would arrive home disgruntled after a disappointing day (every day was disappointing) in the architectural office where he worked, and an hour's drive to the suburb.
Before long, he would be kicking Helen. There was always some pretext for the kicks. (Helen did not have supper ready, or she was on the phone, or she wore a dress he hated...). Ronald never used his fists. Always his legs. He despaired of his uncontrollable rage because he believed that “Helen was the best thing that had ever happened to me.”
As Ronald talked more about his life, his hostility to almost everyone became evident. He was jealous of his brothers, sneered at their choices of wives, hated his job where he felt put upon, especially by female colleagues.
When Ronald spoke about his mother, he whined. Long stories of how she favored one or other of his brothers, how he cringed in her presence, how he avoided visits to her house yet was jealous of her contacts with his siblings. Ronald was convinced his mother preferred one of his nephews, adding bitterly, “Though my son was the first grandchild.”
Hypnotherapy Heals the Hurt and the Rage
Within the comfort of hypnosis Ronald was able to connect his present-day woes with unpleasant incidents in his childhood.
This was accomplished with what hypnotherapists call an “affect link.” You allow yourself to feel a particular emotion, such as grief. As you continue to experience the feeling, the hypnotherapist asks you to recall an earlier time when you felt the same way. Ronald's confused mix of bitterness, rage and sense of abandonment, swiftly drew up a memory of his mother:
“I'm six years old. Mummy keeps telling me I'm her favorite. She tells me to come into her bed. It's warm there. I fall asleep, snuggled beside her. I wake up. She's moving my leg up and down over this hairy place between her legs. She's breathing funny. I'm scared. [Sobs]. She opens her eyes a little and tells me it's okay. My knee is wet. I try to pull away but she holds onto me, tells me to be a good boy, do this for Mummy. She seems out of breath. I'm scared. Then she shakes and cries out. I'm even more scared and I feel bad, like something's really wrong. I ask Mummy if she's all right. She turns to me with a big smile, hugs me and says I'm her little man and everything is fine. [More sobs, reddening of face].
“But everything is not fine. I don't understand. Mummy tells me this will be our special secret. She seems happy. And she likes me best. So I keep quiet. And whenever she asks me I let her use my leg to rub her where she wants. [Later Ronald described other sexual activity his mother initiated]. I begin to like it, too. When I get old enough to have an erection, Mummy plays with my penis. I really like that. But at the same time it feels kind of weird. This stuff went on till I was eleven. I found out at school what sex was supposed to be, and how bad it was what Mummy and me had been doing. I felt sick.”
With psychotherapy while he relaxed in hypnosis, Ronald made some progress toward a healthier life, and control of his rage.
Unfortunately, his wife sabotaged the treatment. Ronald, like many sexually abused victims, had (unconsciously) sought out a woman who would continue the abuse he had suffered as a child.
Helen had made no secret of her broad sexual experience prior to meeting Ronald; indeed, she was proud of it. But her knowledge of the carnal world and his relative innocence (sex with only one woman: his mother) repeated the power pattern Ronald had suffered as a boy.
When Helen saw that Ronald was learning to control his rage, to lessen his hostile attitude and to relax, she counterattacked. Helen had married Ronald because (unconsciously) she wanted a man she could dominate and despise. His therapy threatened to upset the delicate dance of danger they had created.
Ronald was swiftly reduced to a sniveling, angry puppet when Helen sneered at his progress and repeatedly reminded him of what a Mummy's boy he had been.
A final blow bounced Ronald out of therapy: Helen telephoned the therapist, discussed Ronald's history, and insisted the therapist not mention her call to Ronald. The following week Helen casually mentioned to Ronald something the therapist had said to her. Ronald felt betrayed [he was] and never returned to therapy.
You may be doing very well with hypnotherapy when a friend or relative sabotages your progress. This is not usually as dramatic or underhanded as Helen's behavior. The disruption comes in the form of doubt. Your friend may question the effectiveness of hypnosis, and cite the many hypnosis myths that still pollute our minds.
Once doubt is planted, hypnosis ends. Doubt and fear keep us from relaxation. And relaxation is the route into hypnotherapy.
Dennis, like Ronald, suffered fits of rage. Unlike Ronald, Dennis took these fits out on himself. He would tremble, and shake, and sweat and fear he was about to pass out. Dennis knew his ambition to become a police officer would never be realized unless he got over these fits. Like Ronald, he had troubled relationships with women.
Unlike Ronald, Dennis had slept with dozens of women. All his longer-term relationships collapsed over an aspect of jealousy, his or hers. Didn't matter. Dennis could not trust a woman.
Dennis deliberately sought out a male psychotherapist who sometimes used hypnosis. But so scared was Dennis of going into hypnosis, that he spent several sessions in traditional psychotherapy before he had plucked up enough courage to try hypnosis.
Mothers Are Not The Only Women Who Abuse Little Boys
As far as Dennis knew, he had not been molested by his mother. Actually, he was not even sure who his biological mother was. He had been born into a large, extended criminal family. He had lived in seven different homes by the time he was five. All but one were homes of his aunts, cousins or siblings. He got used to calling each aunt in turn “mother.” The woman listed on his birth certificate showed no more, and no less, maternal interest in Dennis than did any of her sisters who raised him.
From as far back as he could remember, Dennis had been abused: abandoned, ignored, ill-fed, beaten, locked in a closet.
The therapist helped Dennis sort out the multitude of feelings that swirled within him.
Finally, Dennis said he was ready to try hypnosis. He was still frightened, despite the therapist's explanations about the safety of the process. But it was not hypnosis itself that Dennis feared; it was what might be uncovered.
In one way, he was right to be wary. But what was uncovered, awful as it was, freed Dennis from the last symbolic chains that linked him to his abusive family and their criminal ways.
In hypnosis, Dennis traced his attacks of trembling to some disgusting sexual behavior of one of his aunts when he was about four. What she had done to him and with him amounted to torture. It had been so horrible he had repressed the details for years, though “I knew something had happened; I just didn't know what.”
Now that he knew what lay at the root of his rage and his attacks, Dennis was able to let go of them. He felt forgiveness for his aunt because he knew of her own dreadful background. It was as if to know what she had done liberated Dennis from any lingering loyalty to his criminal relatives (all of whom were involved in drug deals, prostitution, extortion, etc.).
Now Dennis felt fully comfortable with his decision to apply to the local police training college.
*Blanchard, Geral. (1987). Male Victims of Child Sexual Abuse: A Portent of Things to Come, Journal of Independent Social Work, 1-1, 19-27.
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Male bladder infection is said to occur more widely after the age of fifty because of the prostate enlargement and subsequent instrumentation of the urinary tract. The prostate is a gland surrounding the male urethra in front of the bladder.
Other factors that increase bladder infections in elderly men are the absence of circumcision and urinary catheterization. Male bladder infection is mainly caused by colonization of bacteria in the urinary tract. The route of the bacterial infection may be a directly ascend the urinary tract or spread from the prostate.
Some of the symptoms of male bladder infections are pressure in the lower pelvis; pain during urination; a frequent need to urinate; cloudy, foul-smelling and blood-stained urine; painful sexual intercourse; penis pain; vomiting; fever; and mental changes. Prostate tenderness, rectal lesions, and abdominal tenderness in the suprapubic area are also some signs in the elderly male.
The primary method of preventing bladder infection in men is to get timely treatment for prostate infections. To stay away from male bladder infection some precautions can be taken. Men should practice good personal hygiene. Keep the genital area clean, wipe from front to back, urinate after sexual intercourse, avoid fluids that contain alcohol and caffeine, drink cranberry juice daily, and wear cotton undergarments. One of the important preventive measures is to drink plenty of water. Urinate when needed, do not try to hold up urine in the bladder, and take care to empty the bladder by double voiding.
Urinalysis, urine culture, and imaging studies are used in the diagnosis of male bladder infections. Antibiotics are prescribed to reduce bladder infection. Garlic, goldenseal, and bearberry are some of the herbal remedies suggested to kill bacteria. Acupuncture and homeopathic medicine are also widely recommended for treatment of male bladder infections. Awareness of the risk factors of bladder infections and an adjustment of lifestyle accordingly can help each individual to lead a healthy life.
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There are various types of birth control available to couples wanting to avoid pregnancy. Of all of these methods only condoms offer a high degree of protection against infection by HIV and other STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) at the same time as providing highly effective prevention of unwanted pregnancy.
But just how effective are condoms at preventing pregnancy, and what are some of the factors that have a bearing on their effectivenesss?
Effectiveness of Condoms in Preventing Unintended or Unwanted Pregnancy
When determining condom effectiveness, it is important to recognize that, as with all methods of contraception, the effectivness of condoms decreases when they are not used correctly. According to one large study, "In one year, only two of every 100 couples who use condoms consistently and correctly will experience an unintended pregnancy - two pregnancies arising from an estimated 8,300 acts of sexual intercourse, for a 0.02 percent per-condom pregnancy rate."
Other studies that do not measure for incorrect use, but only for "regular use", indicate that the pregnancy rate may be as high as 15% of couples. But this number is skewed because it includes improper use. The main reason that condoms sometimes fail to prevent pregnancy is incorrect or inconsistent use, not the failure of the condom itself.
These studies just ask women how often they have become pregnant when their partners use condoms. But the "failure rate" derived from these statistics includes cases of incorrect usage, tearing due to mishandling of the condom or rough sexual practices, or even where the couple did not use a condom every time they had sex.
So it is worth repeating. When condoms are used consistently and correctly they have a very high prevention rate -- between 97% and 99%. But they must be used "consistently and correctly" in order to be this effective.
Ways to Prevent Condom "Failure"
Here is what you must do to insure you are getting the best protection possible from condoms:
Use a condom every time you have sex. The condom must be applied as soon as erection occurs and before any sexual contact (vaginal, anal or oral). Be sure not to tear the condom with teeth or fingernails. Do not use oil-based lubricants such as petroleum jelly (vaseline), cold cream, hand lotion or baby oil, since it can weaken the latex. Withdraw from the partner immediately after ejaculation, holding the condom firmly to keep it from slipping off.
Some other Condom Considerations When you buy condoms, read the label. Tests have shown that latex condoms are more likely to give you the added side benefit of preventing the passage of STDs. High quality condoms will be in a package that says the condoms are effective in preventing disease. If the package doesn't say anything about preventing disease, the condoms may not provide the protection you want, even though they may be the most expensive ones you can buy. Novelty condoms (flavored, textured, etc.) are intended primarily for sexual stimulation, not protection. Again, read the label. If it does not say anything about either disease prevention or pregnancy prevention on the package, then it will not be as effective a barrier against pregnancy and disease. For proper protection, a condom must unroll to cover the entire penis. Condoms which do not cover the entire penis will not give you maximum protection. This is another good reason to read the label carefully. Female condoms, while reasonably effective, are not quite as good as male condoms. Although using spermicide by itself (without a condom) is not a very effective way to prevent pregnancy, using condoms that have spermicide added increases their effectiveness. Condoms available from vending machines are not always of top quality. Look for brand names, and read the label carefully. Bright sunlight and heat can weaken the latex, so store them away from sunlight and in a cool place.
Where should I buy condoms?
If you are buying online, make sure the online store carries a broad range of name brand condoms, contains helpful information about condoms, and is reachable by phone so you can talk to a real person. The best advice is to buy from an established source that deals only in name brand products.
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‘Big Chest and the Lion’ [Prelude to After Eve II: Big Chest]
By Dennis L. Siluk
The Man-eaters, as they were known, otherwise called the lions, jaguars, tigers of the ancient days, were not much different than, the new breed, so named by Short-legs as “The Stone-Builder’s,” the reason being, they had no second thoughts about killing the members of the Horde, nor the Branch-People; rather they seemed to harbor thoughts and acts as if they were summoned to do so, a duty that had to be announced; thus, all the inhabitants in these two areas were beastly trophies to them. The Folk in the Horde, along with several others of the Branch-People were terrified in a way of the new invaders of the land, the new neighbors, and their fathomless predator style of hunting. They were a threat more serious than the famine or the plague that had vanquished the land in the past.
◊
I had seen one time Big-chest walk into a campsite of theirs, the Stone-Builders that is, I tried to tell this story to my brother Stern-toes, once, but I never could explain it right, but I think he got the jest of it, if not the seriousness, we did both laugh at the Stone-builders for hours on end, afterwards. As I was about to say, Short-legs and Little-eyes witnessed this whole happening from a distance of course. The Stone-Builders were full of what they called ‘wone, or wine,” something along that order, some sounds take me back a bit, they had new sounds all the time, ones never heard of before their arrival on the scene. Well, Big-chest, noticed in the evening, they had killed a man-either; there were four of them at a campfire, just laughing, and drinking, and being playful like a group of little cubs. Actually they did get a little over physical with one another, like the wild boars after one of us, wanting to eat us for dinner, and then settled down again. It was winter so there was a chill in the air, and not much leafy trees to hide us, but we remained in the distant woods nonetheless, with a pile of leaves at our knees in case we needed to camouflage ourselves more.
As always, Big-chest was confident of his abilities, he stood in the woods, no shadow, just a big blob of muscle, fuzzy hair and sharp beady small squinty eyes, pinned on the four individuals, and their lion. He was actually blocking our vision a bit, but I think he did that because he wanted to show his audience, who was the king. Then unsuspected, he walked into the camp, among the four, he had seen their weapons by the fire, where the lion was. He was swaying his body like huge trees in a storm. Closer and closer he came to the fire, no one noticed, can’t figure it out, could they not hear him, for I could, way back in the woods. His fingers almost touching the ground, he had long thick arms, fingers, and perturbing muscles. Then all of a sudden two of the four turned their necks to see what was in back of them, and almost went into shock, the other two stood up, all four were some fifteen feet from their weapons. The two who were squatting, were closest to the fire, the other two where a little farther away, standing, I think one was releasing himself, he made a puddle and was trying to cover it up, we just went, wherever, and whenever we had to.
Big-chest took his right hand, hit the head of one of the squatters as he was about to stand, and his head flopped like a dead fish out of water; flopping back and forth, as if to jump back into the creek. The other one tried to get to his weapon, but Big-chest picked him up by one leg, his penis showing, they all liked covering them up for some reason, and Big-chest just laughed, and tossed him into the fire, after twisting him about for a few seconds, breaking the leg in several places I expect. Then one of the two standing routed himself through the woods yelling something like, “hhhh eel pppp...!!” Not sure what that meant. The last one, I call him the brave one, pulled out a sharp object, about the length of his hand, and stood in front of Big-chest as if he was going to fight him. He looked similar to a banana compared to him. I asked myself, ‘is he crazy, run! And run fast, while you can.’ Big-chest just looked dumfounded at the figure in front of him, and picked him up, picked up the seven food lionesses, and put her over his shoulder, the crazy Stone-Builder charged at him during this event and Big-chest with a quick turn, knocked the man on the ground with the man-eater still well balanced over his shoulder. Then like a dead fish, he kicked him in the mid section, sweeping him into the fire. He could not move.
Early winter
We had no way of knowing which winter would be good to us or bad for us, and winter this one year had come early, and therefore our food supply was depleted rather quickly. When Little-eyes and I returned back to the cave that evening we had told in our symbolic way, at the Banana Cave, the entire horde how Big-chest killed the Eve people. And you could hear the laughing for miles around. I think Big-chest had taken his trophy to a cave in our area, and was having dinner at the time. We liked anyone who could out smart the Stone-people, they were smug and we were helpless compared to them, most of the time. And so it felt good if anything. But our surprise would come in the morning.
Morning
In the morning when several of us looked out our cave, in the center of the canyon style area, we seen half a lion torn open, in the center, it was a treasure, and all of us quickly ran to eat what meat Big-chest had left for us. Big-chest was not always so generous, but for some odd reason, he knew we were starving for some protean, and our bodies where starting to show our ribs. Aimless to say, this never happened again, but we all gave Big-chest a smile as we walked proudly out of our cave-canyon.
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To date, Breast implants is the most effective breast enlargement method.
However, even though it has been around for 40 years and technology had been improving, doctors are still unsure about their long-term side effects.
Not surprisingly, many women including myself, who want breast enlargement but fear the scalpel, so we try out many pills, lotions, creams and devices advertised as breast enhancer instead.
As a group of impulsive believer … most of us let our insecurity about our bodies get ahead of our reasoning capabilities.
Most, if not all of these non-surgical breast enlargement methods are likely to give only flat results. They may seem pretty genuine, providing testimonials from “real people” as well as giving 30 to 90 days money back guarantees, but it is worth remembering, that beauty products – unlike prescription drugs are not regulated and do not need government approval or testing before they are marketed.
Let’s Consider The Various Breast Enlargement Methods And Their Claims.
Firstly, Breast Enlargement Exercises.
Since the breasts are composed mainly of mammary glands and fat, no amount of exercise will change their actual size or shape. At best, like some devices – it may help to develop the underlying muscles (known as pectoralis) that support the breasts. When these muscles are larger and firmer, they push the breasts outwards, giving the illusion of larger breasts.
What About Various Miracle Breast Enlargement Pills Or Supplements Or Creams?
They are generally herbal in origin – containing different quantities of harmless “plant-estrogen” that are found in some 300 plants like, dong quai, soybean, oat bran, fenugreek, wild yam, saw palmetto and so on.
Being herbal, they are also being promoted as natural and safe.
Yet, one was recently withdrawn from market, when its makers were first sued in United States, as it contains Kava, a south pacific herb, as one of its critical ingredients – before Kava’s is being known to potentially cause fatty liver. This is a classic example, why we should always insist that all the products we use or consume are tested and proven through long-term studies and research.
Is There Any Possible Solution To Natural Breast Enlargement?
Before you lose all hope, there is one herb – which belongs to the family guminosae, subfamily Papilionoideae or the soy, bean & pea subfamily, known as Pueraria Mirifica or Kwao Kreu” or “Kwao Kreu Kao” (white Kwao Kao), which are commonly found in the north, the west and the northeast of Thailand at the altitude of 300 to 800 metres above sea level.
Woman in the rural communities of Thailand have used this tuberous roots effectively as rejuvenating folk medicine for well over a hundreds years before it become well known and received much attention from Thai and foreign scientist, especially the Japanese.
Most of the kwao kreu processed by the Japanese are made into medicines and cosmetics commonly used for improving the skin, hair and firming the breasts.
This herb is known to ...
- Grow hair, strengthen and darken existing ones
- Help improve complexion and remove wrinkles
- Improves eyesight
- Increase energy and vigor leading to more reflexive body movements
- Including breast enhancement.
But not every Pueraria Mirifica are created equal, they varies from species to species and the growing conditions.
There are more than 13 species of Pueraria Mirifica and most of them are called "Pueraria Mirifica” or “Kwao Krua Kao" but this doesn’t mean that they are the same, they may look same in the appearance but they produce different results.
The only way to differentiate their difference is to measure the amount of Miroestrol and Deoxymiroestrol contain inside the roots of Pueraria Mirifica. An elaborate and expensive test need to be carry out in specialized laboratory to certify the actual amount of Miroestrol and Deoxymiroestrol found in any specific type of Pueraria Mirifica. And not many company would sent their Pueraria Mirifica for such stringent test.
Majority of the Pueraria Mirifica products found in the market are made from roots collected from villagers in the forests. And these villagers will be the ones that do the peeling, grinding, and the drying in their homes. Nobody can assure the sanitation, the quality and the amount of Miroestrol found in these Pueraria Mirifica powder.
Many foreign companies who have long settled in Thailand even open small shops to purchase the plant from villagers. If such practices is not stop, it would soon result in extinction of the plant because villagers would think of nothing but money.
